Set in Stone #2

Inscription as Written

RIMER
DANIEL P.
JUNE 30.1956 – AUGUST 6.2015
 
DON’T GRIEVE FOR ME. FOR NOW I’M FREE.  I’M FOLLOWING THE PATH GOD LAID FOR ME
I TOOK HIS HAND WHEN I HEARD HIM CALL.  I TURNED MY BACK AND LEFT IT ALL
I  COULD NOT STAY ANOTHER DAY.  TO LAUGH.  TO LOVE.  TO WORK OR PLAY
IF MY PARTING HAS LEFT A VOID THEN FILL IT WITH REMEMBERED JOY
MY LIFE HAS BEEN FULL.  I’VE SAVORED MUCH.  GOOD FRIENDS.  GOOD TIMES.  A LOVED ONE’S TOUCH
LIFT UP YOUR HEART AND SHARE WITH ME.  GOD WANTED ME NOW.  HE SET ME FREE
 
Suggested Rewrite (BG)
 
don’t grieve at all, I got the call
the one you’ll get some day
still in my prime I asked for time
they said I couldn’t stay
 
if perchance you’re missing me
remember that I’m free
as free, that is, as one can be
under all this sod
 
this poem I know is just so-so
OK, I know it stinks
mistake, I guess, to write a poem
after seven drinks

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Bart Greene Poetry