| Inscription as Written RIMER DANIEL P. JUNE 30.1956 – AUGUST 6.2015 DON’T GRIEVE FOR ME. FOR NOW I’M FREE. I’M FOLLOWING THE PATH GOD LAID FOR ME I TOOK HIS HAND WHEN I HEARD HIM CALL. I TURNED MY BACK AND LEFT IT ALL I COULD NOT STAY ANOTHER DAY. TO LAUGH. TO LOVE. TO WORK OR PLAY IF MY PARTING HAS LEFT A VOID THEN FILL IT WITH REMEMBERED JOY MY LIFE HAS BEEN FULL. I’VE SAVORED MUCH. GOOD FRIENDS. GOOD TIMES. A LOVED ONE’S TOUCH LIFT UP YOUR HEART AND SHARE WITH ME. GOD WANTED ME NOW. HE SET ME FREE Suggested Rewrite (BG) don’t grieve at all, I got the call the one you’ll get some day still in my prime I asked for time they said I couldn’t stay if perchance you’re missing me remember that I’m free as free, that is, as one can be under all this sod this poem I know is just so-so OK, I know it stinks mistake, I guess, to write a poem after seven drinks |
I like the rewrite better.